I cant find out who I really am?

My best friend has filled me with lies and deceit and I cant seem to find myself. I have recently had yet another heartbreak because I am apparently unsuitable for that person's friends. I feel like my friend turned me into something im not. I wake up in the mornings now and I wish I couldn't wake up. It makes me sick like I want to scrub myself clean of all this filth. But I simply can't. Please help me.